Toward the end, they give us “Summerisle”, the 13th-century number to which Edward Woodward is burned alive in the cult film, The Wicker Man. And pretty soonthey’ll be out of a job, astrading on a screen replacesthe stand-up routineIt’s crazy down there,” says Gary “When it’s kicking off, it’s blinding It’s very loud, very fierce, very aggressive. Open outcry traders in their

bright blazers are young,
rash, thick-skinned Theytake a lot of money withoutany knowledge of themarkets. They are like novices let loose from a convent and given a crate of beer, though they have dumped the virginal white they used to wear for vampy, red robes; 12 unpredictable Ophelias gone to the bad, bohemian and startlingly good- looking.Then they open their mouths and begin to resonate, and it is truly scary. “Adam lay I bounden” brings in – gradually – flute, tambourine and a drum that sets up a slow, unearthly rhythm, as threatening as anything from Carmina Burana.Occasionally, the trance breaks or the tone has an awkward nasal glitch and what they are doing seems pompous and silly – but not that often. A plainsong tale of lovesickness so deep “That slepen I ne may” – that I cannot sleep – it holds everyone in a hypnotic trance and the hairs stand up shiveringly on your neck. “Kinderly” is a wild roundel with a vicious, booming bodhran that chills the blood; then, like an echo of Palestrina’s unwordly, unaccompanied vocal beauty, “Now Springes the Spray” fills the room with its Chaucerian words.It is hard to believe only one of the group has musical training: breathing and pronunciation are perfect And eerie, too.

Add to this the fact that founder member, Katherine Blake, also formed Miranda Sex Garden and you are definitely working with one hand tied behind your back.
But this could all be tongue in cheek, because the Baebes have brains, and they do what they do quite remarkably. When they arrive on the venue’s cramped stage – where the microphones are growing plastic ivy – their very presence seems to fill the air with something oddly arcane. Signed to the Spice Girls’ label Virgin they would be easy to dismiss as a marketing ploy; they include among their number a stripper, a go-go dancer, a welder and a systems analyst, and come out with eyewash such as “I like wearing ivy and nothing else”, and “I design spaceships That’s what space pixies do”. They say they are white witches, and it is all done in the best possible taste. I also don’t want to be rude because the Baebes don’t deserve it. Wise could miss the opening three games of the Premiership season if the the Dutch FA passes on details to its English counterparts.The former Liverpool striker, Ian Rush, has signed a one-year deal to become the player-coach at Wrexham.. Twelve feisty chicks, they sing songs from the swingin’ 1360s while trussed up in see-through drapes.

But this kind of schtick isn’t new – we already have Vanessa-Mae and a host of PVC-clad opera singers. The 31-year-old midfielder has been left out of Glenn Hoddle’s 29-man pre-Euro 2000 training get-together and Robson said: “There’s a right time to go out and enjoy yourself, and there’s a right time to knuckle down and get on top of your fitness before you do enjoy a couple of drinks, and that’s what Gazza’s got to do.”Chelsea plan to appeal against the sending off of Dennis Wise in the 4-0 friendly defeat by Atletico Madrid in Arnhem on Tuesday. I DON’T want to be rude about the Mediaeval Baebes, primarily because I value my health and everyone of these girls is, I am assured, a witch. “Naturally we are inquiring about the delays but Everton insist that they are purely technical.”The Villa manager, John Gregory, meanwhile, said yesterday he will maintain an interest in Atletico Madrid’s Juninho. “He is a great player but we have a strong midfield,” he said.Aston Villa have warned Everton they will call central defender David Unsworth back for training if his pounds 3m move to Goodison Park is not finalised shortly. “As far as I know, Juninho is definitely not for sale, but if there are any developments in the future then I would be interested in a deal,” he said.The Middlesbrough manager, Bryan Robson, yesterday warned Paul Gascoigne to stop drinking alcohol.

Unsworth left Villa last week, joining former club Everton within a week of arriving at Villa Park in a pounds 3m move from West Ham. His transfer back to Goodison Park has yet to be completed and Villa are beginning to lose their patience.”It has got to the extent that the manager is threatening to call Unsworth back for training,” a Villa spokesman said. The Gunners have agreed a pounds 2m fee with Vivas’ Swiss club, Lugano, and the player has already completed his medical. “We are hopeful of completing the transfer very quickly but we need one more day to have a chance,” Wenger said.Wenger denied speculation that he had made an offer for Real Madrid’s Dutch midfielder, Clarence Seedorf. It featured Andrew Davies and Owen Parkin who, joining forces with the score on 230, resisted for 23 overs before the innings was brought to an end with the total on 288.

Both players achieved career bests during the process, Davies making 34 before he was caught by Neil Williams sweeping, and Parkin finishing unbeaten on 24.
Fittingly it was the off-spinner Peter Such who claimed the final wicket, to finish with five for 110 from 39.2 overs. That spell was interrupted only by breaks for lunch and tea, after he arrived in the attack just before noon. It was Such who ended the most entertaining innings of the day, one of 68 from as many deliveries by the 19-year-old Wayne Law.Left with 10 overs before the close, Essex responded with 23 for the loss of Ian Flanagan, the 18-year-old falling lbw to Parkin in the third over.Lancashire battled into a commanding position on a slow Old Trafford pitch against their fellow Championship contenders, Gloucestershire.It was a track which persuaded the visitors to use the off-spinner Martyn Ball after only eight overs, and he responded with two long spells which earned him three for 119 off 42 overs. But Lancashire, without England’s Mike Atherton and Andy Flintoff, dug deep into their resources to reach 269 for seven at the close after opting to bat.Lancashire showed consistency in their batting and their highest scorer was John Crawley, who maintained his rich vein of form with 43, following three successive Championship centuries, to underline his claims for an England Test recall.. England’s Charlotte Edwards takes a subtle approach on her way to a score of 53 on the first day of the first women’s Test against Australia at Guildford yesterday.